Chapter 2 ~ Tasteless

It’s almost fasting month. It’s tomorrow actually. Not just fasting month started, so is my exam. I’m going to face my PMR tomorrow. Hmmm, maybe some of you not so sure what is PMR. Well, PMR stands for Peperiksaan Menengah Rendah or in English, High School’s Exam. It’s an important exam, because it’s going to decide for us whether we are going to be in science stream or art stream. I hope I’m going to make it to the science stream. Cause, that’s where doctors and scientist start their first steps. Honestly I don’t want to be a doctor nor a scientist. But, when you are in science stream, its cooler. Just kidding. Actually, when you are in science stream, the scopes of study that you can choose are wider compared to arts. Hmmm, but honestly I don’t really have my own ambition. Just following my sisters’ path and what other people said. But no matter what it is, tomorrow I’m going to have an important exam. I enter into my mother’s room hoping that she can advice me about tomorrow’s exam, but she was crying. I know why. Because she cried yesterday and a day before and even before that. She cries a lot. Usually, when a girl cries, it must got to do with heart feeling. And for my mom, she cries because of my father. My father was always not at home. The only time that I can meet him was morning when he sends me to school. When I got back, he was at work. And in the evening, he takes his shower and went out again. I guess that’s why my mother is crying. Because when you really love someone and you start to stay apart, it’s going to be hurt. Instead of asking for advice, now it’s me who give advice to my mom. I hope she feels better though. I really wish both of my big sisters are here. Cause girls are better at comforting others. Too bad both of them were at universities and studying.

The next day come and I have to wake up early cause it’s the first day of fasting month. We have to eat in the early morning before the morning azan started. Later on, I take my shower and wear my uniform, like usual. And usually, after breakfast, it’s my father who is going to send me to school by motorcycle cause, it’s faster. And because there is no breakfast in a fasting month, my parent, send me to school today. Maybe it’s because I got exams. Inside the car, we don’t even say anything. Especially my mom and dad, they don’t even look at each other. My mom was looking at the window and my dad was focusing in his driving. What can I say? So, I looked outside my windows. Wondering are my parents going to keep like this every day. I start to think about my little sister at home. She just finished her exams and still sleeping at home. I just hope she will be fine because she is still too young to understand all this. There are a lot of cars outside. Oh my, I have arrived. Better start going to my hall. I don’t want to be late to my exams. I kiss my mom and dad, and ask them to pray for me. They wish me all the best for my exams, and I start going to my class. Looking at the questions, it was not that tough. But I still have 1 question that I can’t answer. Huhu… At last, it’s 1pm. I still got 4 more days to finish my exam. I can’t wait till that final day. I go outside to the gate and my mom is waiting for me. How pretty she is. She is smiling at me. Inside the car, she told me, she and dad have divorce and she is going to live outside of this town. She said, this town is too full with nightmares. I don’t know how to feel at that time. Should I feel sad or worried or what? I just keep quiet and don’t know what to say to my mom. At least my mom has stop crying. When we got home, she already cooked for me and she is ready to go. She took her bag and hug me so tightly and kiss me a lot. I said good bye to her and ask her to take care of herself. I don’t know what should I think by now, my exams or my future. But still, I am so worried about my mom. Where is she going to stay? Who is going to take care of her? I don’t know why, I want to cry but this eyes seems have run out of tears. I’m tired of crying. Since I was a baby till I’m 15! Why must I keep crying?! The time move on and I focus to my exams and finally it finished. I tell my father I want to go and live with my mother later on. Pack up my bag and take the bus and here, I’m with my mother.